Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Your adopted.....

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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