I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Rebecca Black

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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