What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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knock knock go away!!!

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops