- Anti Joke

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops