I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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your mum

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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