- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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