Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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obama

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Please don't shoot me

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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