What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Justin with a hat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops