Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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A seal walks into a club.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops