What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops