Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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guess what>? your mum lol

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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WILLY

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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