what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

 

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops