Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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