a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops