Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

Obama

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Men

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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