Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Female Orgasms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops