What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

What's grey and can't fly? A castle

Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Skrillex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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