What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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okay so theres this guy.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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