Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops