Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What did the old man say? Im old

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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VITAMIN C!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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