What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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