Apple juice.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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eoin burgin is fat

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops