You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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