Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops