How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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A seal walks into a club.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops