Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops