What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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This statement is false.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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