Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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ur gey

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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