What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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