knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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