Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Swag.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops