What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i just wrote this so hard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops