There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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9/11

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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