what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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Type better antijokes above

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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your mum

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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