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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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9/11 my birthday

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops