I just threw up..In my pants.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops