Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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field day?

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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