What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops