Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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