In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Women's Rights

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Logan's gay

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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My spelling is horrible

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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