Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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the bible

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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