''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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gingers

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Call of Duty is a good game.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops