What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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N-E Pats never cheated

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Fat people

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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