A storm be brewin!

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops