Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops