If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I hate long jokes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops