What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Connor is homosexuaI

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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