Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

What did the boy say to his friend? nothing, they were both deaf

If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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