Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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whats black and large -me

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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