What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

what happened to your carpool? they died.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

Knock knock Go away

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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