- Anti Joke

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.