Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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How do you end a sentence

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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