What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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neil likes pube toast

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops