How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

So a man walks into a bar, right?

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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