What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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